I'm now living with my dad's side (as of last Saturday), since I was with my mom. If I stayed, I would have been forced to work. I don't mind working, but give me time to relax. I can't do work before being prepared. It's painful to leave school to purge (get yourself straight), but being unable to when harassed about college and job hunting. I felt like an "inconsiderate, lazy bum" for not making money. My dad's side is similar, just more merciful. No, I'm not in bad terms with my mother, but she and stepdad were a little harder.
I used to work at my mom's agency, which I never wanted to. She needed help and promised it was temporary. It was fun for the first month or two but then got annoying. Now that the medical business is going bad, I was afraid of being sucked into it because I'm "family". I left school for not living enough. Now I have to kill time with work? Screw that! I feel upset for mother. It's harder now that I'm not around. She had to "fire" two other employees. But then she could suffer with me around. I could care less about that job. When I was there, I would put half the effort, while another secretary did more. "Half-assing" can bring mistakes, which could damage the business. Or maybe not. The work was easy; mistakes are easily picked. Either way, I can't take the risk. Anyway, the job was taking a toll; I'd be angry and frustrated for weeks. That is bad for my health.
Me, selfish? Maybe, maybe not, but I don't want a response. I've often been accused of "selfishness" just for being a "teenager". Mention selfishness and you'll make my matters worse.
2 comments:
Even though they conciously chose it, my parents both struggled with unschooling a fair amount. My mom would sometimes threten to send us to school when we weren't "doing anything". Truth was, we WERE doing things, many things, but they just didn't seem to qualify as worthwhile things. I can't imagine how hard it would be to go from school seven days a week to unschooling. The transition period seems rough for all involved, but once you get past it, you are so freeeeeee!
Thanks for the good comment. Transitions are rough, worse when feeling one has to do this and that. I feel more tied up because my family is mainstream. Me quitting school, work, whatnot went against their wishes; they'd prefer the traditional path.
Being fair is hard when two different worldviews clash. Add the mainstream side encouraging their way with little regard to alternatives. It damages relationships, even if there are "good intentions".
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